Worst Film

If you believe the pundits, 2009 was the best year for Australian film in a long, long time. But when it comes to Australian film, people stopped believing the pundits somewhere around the time The Last Days of Chez Nous was being hailed as anything more than a cure for insomnia.

Going Down Under - 68.42%
"Without a doubt."
- Denbigh
"Sorry, Ed"
- Mel
"...Good grief..."
- mixmasterflibble
Charlie & Boots - 21.05%
Guru Wayne - 10.53%

Last year's winner:

Going Down Under, or as it's better known to Get This listeners - the only people who could possibly give a shit about this cinematic turd - Meat Pie, is the kind of disaster that's far funnier to hear about than it is to actually watch. Being intentionally bad takes away most of the fun from the endless tasteless sex jokes and surreal plot twists, and while "star" Ed Kavalee actually shows promise (in that he can go from being a vacant innocent to the mildly snarky guy he plays on radio) the rest of the cast could be used as some kind of mind-wiping device they're so forgettable. This is the kind of film that actively seeks to win awards like this, but don't be fooled: this is so bad it's just plain bad.

Not so much a film as a paper-thin travelogue aimed entirely at people looking for a cinema to park their aged and senile relatives in, Charlie & Boots wouldn't have been worth mentioning but for the appearance of one Paul Hogan. It's been well over a decade since Hoges appeared in anything even remotely comedic, so seeing him go for laughs here is like watching a Sopwith Camel trying to take off after eighty-or-so years rusting up in the back of a barn. Worse, there are times where he almost manages to get off the ground: realising that Hoges still has the chops to get laughs but has no interest in making a movie that's actually funny makes this the most depressing Australian film of the year. Yes, even more depressing than Blessed, and that had homeless kids burning to death inside a Brotherhood Bin.

As for Guru Wayne, why make a film when you can make a mess? Jam it full of enough comedy big names - even if they only appear in an end credit blooper reel (like Peter Helliar) or are on-screen for less than a minute (Tony Martin), or are totally wasted in a do-nothing role (Bob Franklin) - and no-one's going to care that the film itself makes no sense and features as leads a bunch of nobodies who can't act their way out of the dole queue. Not that "comedy big names" are enough to get anyone to actually spend money on a movie in this country.

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