DAVID Good evening. Margaret and myself are delighted to be your hosts for At The Tumblies - the Australian Tumbleweeds 2009 after show party. It's been quite a night, and myself and Margaret will be enjoying some lame-arse banter...er, I mean, embarking upon a vigorous exchange of view...about what we've just seen. MARGARET Oh, David. DAVID I must say I've certainly enjoyed previous Tumbleweeds ceremonies, and this one promised to be a real 'corker' as younger viewers are fond of saying. Although, for me, I must confess I found it somewhat lacking in pizazz. MARGARET Oh, David. DAVID No, hear me out, Margaret. Closing with a parody of us two, for example, lacks a certain originality to my mind. I'm sure if you're a pasty-faced English type who's only been to Australia three times then the sight of me in my beard is highly amusing, but to the Australian public it's the equivalent of remembering BMX bikes. Yes, I've got a beard and I witter on about films - get over it. MARGARET Oh, David. DAVID I mean, couldn't Mike S, who wrote this bit, have attacked the real targets? The ones that matter? I've heard last year's Adelaide Christmas pageant was a bit crap, for instance. Or maybe he could have pointed out that Eddie McGuire has about 15 different jobs. Or that it's really hot. Quite frankly, Margaret, it 'gets my goat' as they say on the internet. MARGARET Oh, David. Oh, David. Oh, D-d-d-d-d-d...d-d-d-d-d-d-d... DAVID Oh, and now Margaret's broken. This is the worst thing I've ever read in my life. And as for 13 schoolyards' and Bean Is A Carrot's script for the main show - get a new concept, guys. Still, Champniss's designs were excellent - look at my swinging feet! - and Zaphod did a great job keeping the webspace spick and span. And the voters...they've all been marvellous. Unless they voted for Julia Morris. MARGARET D-d-d-d-d-David David david... d-d-d-d-d... DAVID HITS MARGARET ON THE HEAD WITH AN ENORMOUS MALLET. FADE TO BLACK.

	Conclusion