| THE AUSTRALIAN TUMBLEWEEDS 2007 | Part 3 |
O'BRIEN
Welcome back to the Tumblies, live here in the land of intro nets, ville, computer villes, nets, etc. Anyway, I should know this actually, I did a course a few years ago on the intra nodes, went for about three weeks. It was a Centrelink thing actually, over Christmas, mutual obligation. It was pretty express, they hurried us through it. I didn't pick up much. I remember 'DOS'. That sort of thing. About all I got from it. People kept asking for my autograph, a bit annoying, got a bit embarrassing. "Hey Ray," they would say, and I would point out that I had red hair and nobody seemed to realise I wasn't Ray Martin. I think they thought I was either Ray or Brian Cadd from Axiom, actually. Weird. But, yeah...passed the course. Anyway...
THE PRODUCER SHOUTS "GET ON WITH IT!" IN HIS EARPIECE.
O'BRIEN
Sorry, don't know what came over me... Um...books! They're very interesting aren't they? Books. And merchandise, nice...
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O'BRIEN
And in a closely fought battle in this category Chopply has won. 13 schoolyards, explain the Chopply - and indeed the "Chopper" - phenomenon to us...
13 SCHOOLYARDS
Well Kerry, Chopply is a board game based on "Chopper", a comedy character whose act consists of abusing people and giving them crap advice on how to toughen up. I know I should be making some further comment here, but if that previous sentence doesn't tell you all you need to know, then, seriously... (SHRUGS) look, it's a game based on a character who insults you! Don't most of us have family members and co-workers who'll do that for free? And why anyone would buy "Chopper" merchandise when the real Chopper has his own range of (far funnier) books and DVDs out there, remains a mystery worthy of a double episode of In Search Of...
O'BRIEN
Well, that sounds like a worthy winner. But it was a close-fought race, with two items produced by ABC Enterprises in joint second place...
BEAN IS A CARROT
Yes, Kerry. The ABC seem to have been constantly on the lookout for merchandising opportunities ever since the government stopped giving it enough money, which means it produces as much cheap tat related to its most popular programmes as is humanly possible. Summer Heights High fuelled a range of t-shirts and wrist bands featuring catchphrases from the show and even inspired the release of what appeared to be nothing more than the audio soundtrack of the series. Bizarrely this cost more than the DVD, which was either an innovative reinterpretation of the maxim "less is more" or a blatant rip-off. And The Chaser team also found time to approve a number of items for sale last year, including a range of clothing, two books and The Chaser's War on Everything - Class of 007 poster. Being unrelated to anything from the show (apart from the fact that it wasn't terribly funny) the only purpose of the poster seemed to be to make money. It was also available as a t-shirt.
O'BRIEN
Thank you Bean and now we move to another form of merchandising, DVDs. With Bargearse and The Olden Days, Micallef Tonight, The Dagg Sea Scrolls and Death in Brunswick among the archival gems to finally get a release, it's tempting to label 2007 a great year for DVDs. That is, until you remember...
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O'BRIEN
Could you take us through these results, schoolyards?
13 SCHOOLYARDS
On the surface, Kerry, the Summer Heights High DVD looked like a decent enough package and had plenty of deleted scenes. Unfortunately, the deleted scenes were just more of the same. There was nothing new or interesting there, just the same jokes done over and over, again and again and again. Which did provide an insight into the way Lilley works, but hardly an enthralling one. Unless you like the idea of working for Lilley as being like Waiting for Godot, only without the laughs.
As for Funky Squad, it came from the "You should be grateful we're even releasing this!" school of DVD releases. With no extras whatsoever - even the promised "bonus comic strip" was missing from my copy - it was yet another example of Working Dog's "Who cares?" approach to DVD releases. It's not as if they didn't have anything to say on a commentary track: explaining the show's origins as a radio series, how it made the jump to ABC TV, how they brought in Tim Ferguson to replace Rob Sitch, how they picked the old commercials they used, how much research they did - there's half an hour of chat right there. Not to mention the rumoured airline-only bonus episodes. And surely they still have copies of the original Triple M radio series lying around somewhere?
But Working Dog's disinterest in providing decent extras unless a) Tony Martin's around to push them into it or b) they're trying to salvage a relatively high profile fizzle (check out the huge range of extras and commentaries on The Dish) makes the bare-bones release of our winner, Thank God You're Here series 2, no real surprise. Thing is, series 1 actually did come with an (admittedly small) range of extras - nothing fancy mind you, but enough to make those who bought it on DVD feel like they were at least getting something (even the play-at-home game was kind of fun). Here you got the shows and nothing else, without even the Funky Squad defence of getting a show that would otherwise be impossible to find. It's a wonder the back cover doesn't boast "scene selection" and "animated menus" as special features.
JOE HOCKEY WALKS ONTO THE SET.
HOCKEY
That's really a shame, you know, I spent a lot of 2007 talking a lot about WorkChoices...
O'BRIEN
Yes...?
HOCKEY
Yeah, nothing really else to add to that, Kerry.
O'BRIEN
Alright. Well, the next set of results...
HOCKEY
Except...well, I don't know if I should say this...but I will. I just want to say, WorkChoices...it was bad. Very bad.
O'BRIEN
Nice to know you finally spotted that one, Joe.
HOCKEY
Also, I thought the Funky Squad DVD, you know...no extras, I personally don't mind that, I'm not a big fan of extras, I figure, you get what you're given, don't complain, you're not indispensable, if Working Dog don't want to give you extras...and that Rob Sitch is a nice man. He smells nice. Like lettuce.
O'BRIEN
Right...of course, there's always an upside to a DVD with no extras - there's no chance of a bonus appearance from any of the following...
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O'BRIEN
Another big win for Kyle Sandilands, oceanthroats...
OCEANTHROATS
Yes, wherever Kyle appears there is bound to be great condensed helpings of dreary horridness. He made a "controversial" appearance on Enough Rope during the year which made Andrew Denton's earlier interviews with the likes of John Travolta and Pat Rafter seem like gorgeous encounters between two shining Kings. Indeed every previous and subsequent episode of Enough Rope resembled day-glo genius of the highest order after this strange encounter. This is the power of Kyle Sandilands. If he could somehow appear in every second episode of any new comedy show we might just have some sort of comedic renaissance on our hands. Provided Rebel Wilson isn't in the other episodes.
O'BRIEN
And The Chaser in second place, 13 schoolyards...
13 SCHOOLYARDS
Well, seeing members of The Chaser outside their natural environment is a stark reminder of how charisma-free and stilted they really are, Kerry. They can speak in complete sentences and read jokes off cue cards, but you're never in any danger of seeing them bust out any off-the-cuff comedy gold. Which isn't automatically a bad thing: plenty of funny people need time and preparation to be at their best (just watch any episode of Thank God You're Here), but for people touted as this generation's pranksters supreme, they exude next to no joy or sense of fun once they're off-script. Your accountant is probably more out-there and on-the-edge than these guys - I know mine is.
O'BRIEN
And in third place was Rove McManus, Antony...
GREEN
Yes Kerry and the good news regarding Rove is that we're only about five years away from having a computer powerful enough to do everything he does, only better. The bad news is, unless that computer has a dead wife Rove will still have the edge as far as the woman's mags are concerned.
O'BRIEN
Actually Antony, I can probably write some software for Rove 2.0 after that Centrelink course I went on...
O'BRIEN TYPES THE FOLLOWING CODE INTO HIS COMPUTER:
10 PRINT "What tha?" | ||
Very good, they're big fans of computer humour on the internet.
JACK THE INSIDER:
Kerry I have an extra monologue here I want to try.
O'BRIEN
Hmm...
JACK
(TAKES A DEEP BREATH) It's a bloody disgrace Kerry, like two prominent politicians crammed into a Canberra hotel room with a roll of film and a sandwich bar, it's..
O'BRIEN
No. (TURNING BACK TO CAMERA) If there's anything worse than an idiot satirist blathering on about politics, it's a political idiot blathering on about satire...
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O'BRIEN
Bean Is A Carrot, I guess you'll have something to say on this one...
BEAN IS A CARROT
Yes, Kerry. Henderson's win in this category is due entirely to an article he wrote about the ABC's satirical output for the February 2007 edition of 'The Sydney Institute Quarterly'. And just to remind you all that Henderson is the Executive Director of The Sydney Institute and a commentator not generally known for his entertainment critiques or sense of humour.
Now, turning to the article itself, his assessment of the then recently axed Glass House as "tired" and "not rating all that well" was reasonable, as was his understandable distress at the existence of "The Glass House fan club" (pity poor Gerard, having to scroll through the dozens of postings from teenage girls of the likes of "OMG!! Don't axe The Glass House!!! I LUV U WIL - LOLZ!!!" on the various Save The Glass House MySpace pages), but the point he really wanted to make was that ABC satire comes from a unbalanced left wing perspective and is therefore evil. That he should reach this conclusion was not a surprise to anyone who has read his writings on the media, but while there is a slight logic to his hatred of the "latte sippers", some of his reasoning in the satire article was baffling to say the least.
Of John Clarke, Henderson wrote:
Whether Henderson left out some words here or just likes contradicting himself in the space of a single sentence is a matter of interpretation. He continued with equally bizarre logic:"Clarke remains a credible commentator on contemporary Australian politics and economics because, when in government, neither Labor nor the Coalition ever implemented any of his views."
How Henderson could mistake the script of a satirical play for a political pamphlet or an early 90s take on Mao's Little Red Book is anyone's guess, but the irony of him accusing Clarke of being a propagandist is striking and clearly displays a lack of self awareness, an ignorance of the role of the satirist and his own bias."They [Clarke's views] are set out in the publication, 'A Royal Commission Into The Australian Economy' (Allen & Unwin, 1991) - which John Clarke co-wrote with Ross Stevenson."
Later in his article Henderson argued that satirists like Clarke should be "balanced" in their approach. Rather than targeting only the prominent and the powerful - people whose actions can actually effect the lives of others - they should satirise everyone who expresses views in public, even comparatively powerless or fringe figures like Greens Senator Bob Brown. Figures who coincidentally disagree with Henderson and much of the media he supports. Funny that. And funny that Henderson's desire for balance did not extend to him commissioning articles by writers like John Pilger or Germaine Greer for 'The Sydney Institute Quarterly'.
O'BRIEN
OK. Now, 13 schoolyards, can you tell us something about the other nominees in this category?
13 SCHOOLYARDS
Well, the problem with Catherine Deveny is - well, there's more than one problem with her writing, but we don't have all day and most of them can be summed up in the phrase "she ain't as funny as she thinks". But the more serious problem is that she's criticising television while still actively touting for work in television. How can anyone trust a critic who could be saying a show is good because she wants to write for it? How can you trust a critic who could be saying a show is bad because she wants to curry favour with the producers of another show it's up against? And how can you trust a human being who says - just for example - that awards shows are shit but then happily takes pride in the fact that she gets paid to write for them?
And Cameron Adams writes like an idiot. 98% of his TV writing might be dead on the money, he might be a brilliant conversationalist and a man who truly cares about his fellow human beings, but every single week that Summer Heights High was screening he basically said "this week's episode is so shocking the ABC switchboard will go into meltdown". It wasn't and it didn't; only a fool would have said so.
O'BRIEN
But back to our winner...Gerard Henderson is here tonight, but he seems to be too busy keeping tally of the number of lattes we've all been drinking to come and talk to us. Incidentally Gerard, it's one each.
HENDERSON WRITES "1 x Latte" NEXT TO EACH OF THEIR NAMES IN HIS NOTEBOOK.
GREEN
Actually, I had tea. It was organic.
HENDERSON ANGRILY CROSSES OUT "1 x Latte" NEXT TO GREEN'S NAME AND REPLACES IT WITH "1 x Tea (Organic) - GRRR!!!!".
O'BRIEN
And to our next category...the Australian media's relationship to comedy programmes is fairly straightforward: they don't start to hype shows until after they've started to go downhill. They can't be blamed for that: over the years so many Australian comedies have come out of the blocks as nothing more than a four-legged turd, so it's only prudent to reserve judgement until a show's been around for a while. Yet time and time again the result is shows and creators being hyped-up as the next big thing when anyone who's been following their work knows that they're past their prime...
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O'BRIEN
Interesting results there, Antony. Can you give us your thoughts on the nominees for this award?
GREEN
Yes Kerry, Thank God You're Here rated well, but that could have had as much to do with the Australian audience's hunger for decent light entertainment and an accessible timeslot than the quality of the show. And fans of Working Dog's output soon figured out that this was nothing more than another throwaway trifle from a comedy team no longer interested in scripting actual comedy. Yet the praise rolled out and kept on coming, even when by series three Working Dog were aware that the show's race was almost run.
The Chaser is an odd case and they certainly came up with a few high profile stunts worthy of the coverage. But the creepy, symbiotic relationship that sprung up between them and both A Current Affair and Today Tonight was a sign of something being not quite right. If The Chaser really was the crack team of on-the-edge satirists the press kept claiming they were - or even just the knockabout guys out for a laff they preferred to be described as in interviews - then their dealings with tabloid TV should have either been a lot edgier or a lot funnier. Instead, the contrived clashes came off as mutually beneficial, providing coverage for The Chaser and whipping boys for the tabloids. The fact that the audience got nothing out of the deal but empty hype didn't seem to worry either side.
O'BRIEN
But the winner was, once again, Summer Heights High. And as I keep say Chris Lilley is mysteriously unavailable tonight. So we've asked our special commentator shunkymonky to gives us an account of a celebrity screening of Summer Heights High held last year in Melbourne's Cinema Nova...
CUT TO PRE-RECORDED PIECE.
SHUNKYMONKY
Chris Lilley playing Chris Lilley entered the cinema to rapturous applause. Motioning to the projectionist, his new show Summer Heights High started rolling for the reigning glitterati. First shown was a drama teacher who was rude and narcissistic. Then there was the rich white girl who was rude and narcissistic. Then there was the Tongan class clown who drew dicks on everything. Buried within all these three characters were subtle links to the reality of our own lives prompting one patron to breathlessly recall "Oh we had a kid like him in my class". We all laughed heartily at the masterful representation of societal archetypes so wondrously mined and mimicked.
Ja'mie made fun of an ugly girl and we all laughed at the brashness. That was until someone said "Haha, yeah she is ugly". The lights were turned on and the man was forcibly ejected amongst a blizzard of icy stares. We were then lectured on the fact we were to laugh only at the awfulness of the characters and not at their actions and doing otherwise was a misrepresentation of Lilley's work. The screening was started again.
Soon enough Jonah was expelled from the school and sent back to Tonga. Lilley held up a sign of a sad face so we would know that we are to feel saddened and depressed over the expulsion of a student who never actually did any work. This was like the time he showed us the hilariously absurd Pat character in We Could Be Heroes who because she had one leg shorter than the other decided she would roll herself to Uluru. Then she died of cancer. Everyone sniffed and clapped politely at the brilliance of the show moving beyond its comedic boundaries.
Suddenly a small child stood up on his chair and shouted "Wait this is inane! There's no jokes in this, you're just taking awful character stereotypes - inexplicably all played by you - putting them into situations both banal and idiotic whilst wrapping it under the banner of a mockumentary to maintain some dramatic credibility!". Lilley stood up at this point and walked out the door, only to return six months later in the exact same outfit as the boy. He then repeated what the boy said but in a more high pitched tone. Everyone laughed and slapped their thighs as the boy sank back down in his seat under the overwhelming weight of cutting social satire. Lilley ended the evening by informing everyone this new character would become a ballet dancer. And then die of dysentery.
O'BRIEN
shunkymonky with that special report. And now I want to talk about latches for a bit. Why latches? What is this obsession with latches? Utter rubbish if you ask me. The sooner we get rid of latches and open our doors to the world the sooner this nation will grow up. Anyway. Sorry. I've been a bit tired lately. We should move on. Latches are overrated though. Silly steel silver plate things, with chains, that sort of thing. Nonsense.
Anyway, the irony of having an award for Most Over-Exposed Comedian/Programme - thereby giving them even more exposure - isn't lost on us here in the tally room...
ENTER CHRIS LILLEY AS NEW CHARACTER.
LILLEY
Latches!
O'BRIEN
...Though we might not have been able to see it quite as clearly if someone else had been the winner...
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O'BRIEN
Another win to Chris Lilley, but 13 schoolyards, I'm surprised Hamish & Andy or The Chaser didn't fare better in this category...
13 SCHOOLYARDS
Well, much of Hamish & Andy's hype comes from the media's short memories - stories about how they're at the cutting edge of a new drive-time comedy revolution would be slightly more convincing if we hadn't read the same stories a decade ago with "Hamish & Andy" replaced by "Martin/Molloy". And they'd be even more convincing if Hamish & Andy were half as funny on radio as Martin/Molloy were, instead of basically being just typical radio jocks running competitions and squeezing in some banter between eight songs an hour. Then there's their "let's be conjoined twins for a week" stunts, which should set alarm bells ringing for anyone who thinks that the proof of a good radio show is the actual show. And by the time you get to the appearing-weekly-in-the-women's-mags-fact that Andy is currently enjoying physical relations with Australian clothing model Megan Gale (does anyone else think they look like brother and sister? No?), you have a comedy duo that would be insipiring hate riots nationwide if not for the fact that they both seem relatively likeable. At least, compared to Kyle Sandilands.
And The Chaser hype is so disconnected from the actual show it'd be funny - if said hype wasn't force-fed down our throats. Hearing about a show that's supposedly the most in-your-face, socially revolutionary, taboo-confronting satire this country has ever seen, then turning on the television to see a couple of past-it uni types waving a giant prop at a smiling politician as he gets into a car is the kind of surreal disconnect David Lynch would kill for. Unfortunately, their hype was a far, far funnier prank on the public than anything they actually attempted on purpose.
O'BRIEN
But the winner was Summer Heights High...
13 SCHOOLYARDS
Yes, week after week during it's run we were told - often by the 'Herald-Sun's Cameron Adams - that this week's episode was the one that would go "too far". Lilley's ruthless take on high school life would push the boundaries to such an extent that the forces of repression in this country would rise up and demand it be pulled from the air. Instead, no-one gave a shit that Lilley was insulting state school students and the mentally handicapped while treating the word "rape" as an all-purpose punchline. People could tell that he was just saying these things to get a reaction and they couldn't be bothered giving it to him. A more cynical person might think that Lilley was hoping his shock tactics would make up for his lack of actual comedy-type comedy. If so, he failed: lucky for him there's a lot of schoolkids who'll watch anything that has students swearing at teachers.
O'BRIEN
Thank you 13 schoolyards. And now we, er...
THERE IS A SLIGHT PROBLEM WITH THE AUTOCUE.
O'BRIEN
...turn to the award for, er...
CRAIG REUCASSEL STEPS FORWARD.
REUCASSEL
I see you're stumbling a bit there, Kerry.
O'BRIEN
No, it just got stuck for a moment. (BACK TO THE AUTOCUE) We now turn to the award for Most Disappointing Comedy...
REUCASSEL
Wait a second Kerry, I've got a giant prop and some pre-prepared funny lines that I want to confront you with.
O'BRIEN
(WEARILY) What are they?
REUCASSEL PRODUCES A GIANT MICROPHONE.
REUCASSEL
You see Kerry, next time you have problems with your bloody links...
HE PAUSES FOR AUDIENCE LAUGHTER. NONE COMES.
REUCASSEL
...you just complain about it into this microphone here. And it's always on, so even after you've thrown to something we can still hear you complain about the "bloody Canberra cue" or whatever it was.
O'BRIEN
Are you finished?
REUCASSEL
Can we just get a few pick-up shots of me saying "bloody" in your direction?
O'BRIEN
No, because we need to move to the next set of results. And guess what? You've won!
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O'BRIEN
Another near win for The Nation, Schoolyards?
13 SCHOOLYARDS
Well, The Nation was disappointing because Mick Molloy used to be funny. The Late Show was funny, Martin/Molloy was funny, lots of The Mick Molloy Show was funny, Crackerjack was funny. The Nation...wasn't funny. Maybe it was funny two or three years ago, when it was a Mick Molloy/Tony Martin project for Ten. Maybe in Mick's head it was funny - though going by Mick's low profile since it finished its run, he probably feels a little disappointed too.
O'BRIEN
And Summer Heights High?
13 SCHOOLYARDS
The only people disappointed by Summer Heights High were those who were hoping against hope that the tidal wave of praise Chris Lilley had received for We Can Be Heroes had managed to avoid his head. Sure, he had to write, produce, compose the music for and play every major character in ...Heroes, but that didn't automatically have to mean he was an egomaniac whose next project would be even more self-indulgent...did it?
O'BRIEN
But the winner was The Chaser's War on Everything, Bean...
BEAN IS A CARROT
Yes, it returned for a second series in the slot previously occupied by The Glass House and had the team's many media supporters expressing concern that in their new time The Chaser team would not be able to be as satirical and dangerous as they had been. But for those who'd hoped that after a break and with an election due later in the year The Chaser's War on Everything finally would be satirical and dangerous, the series was a huge disappointment. As was the Chaser team's habit of admitting the lameness and repetitiveness of their own output as a form of self-mocking defence rather than actually trying to produce something better. The press release for the new series even listed some supposedly new segments, all of which were parodies or reworkings of previous sketches.
But with most of the media lapping up their every prank, ABC executives falling over themselves to tell us all how innovative they were and tabloid current affairs programmes only managing to take a po-faced, moralistic attitude to the team's antics rather than provide an effective critique of it, The Chaser got away with it. Again. We are now at a point where the shining sparks in the team's early output have proved to be fool's gold. Slowly the public are noticing this, but when will the media or ABC executives?
O'BRIEN
And, of course, most of The Chaser team are unable to be here this evening as they're busy preparing for their upcoming tour and next TV project. Let's see how they're doing...
DEEP IN THE CHASER WRITING ROOMS. NOBODY IS SAYING ANYTHING VERY MUCH. ALL IS QUIET. WATER DRIPS FROM SOMEWHERE.
ANDREW HANSEN
I still think megaphones...
CHAS LICCIARDELLO
Megaphones.
HANSEN
In public. Yelling through one.
LICCIARDELLO
Hmmm...
CHRIS TAYLOR
It's a bit of a gamble...
HANSEN
Well?
LICCIARDELLO
I like the idea. Missing something though.
JULIAN MORROW
Peter Costello? Giant novelty appliance? Andrew's haircut?
HANSEN
Peter Costello. Needs Costello.
TAYLOR
Tim Costello?
HANSEN
Peter.
MORROW
Peter Costello. Yes, yes that's more like it.
HANSEN
Megaphone.
MORROW
I say loud hailer more than megaphone but...
LICCIARDELLO
Loud hailer...
TAYLOR
Yes. Yes, I think that is it.
LICCIARDELLO
Yes. Yes. What?
TAYLOR
Today Tonight! Point out how awful they are! How inconsistent...and...you know...
HANSEN
Small minded...
TAYLOR
Yes, yes, with...a prop...
MORROW
Andrew's haircut?
TAYLOR
No...
LICCIARDELLO
Loud hailer!
HANSEN
Megaphone!
LICCIARDELLO
A megaphone. Good. That's got that out of the way. Now, for series five...
THE CROWD IN THE TALLY ROOM LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY AND RUSHES OUT TO PRE ORDER DVDs FROM AN INTERNET CAFE SOMEWHERE DOWN AN ALLEYWAY.
GERARD HENDERSON
I can stay silent no longer, O'Brien. Your biased ABC coverage of these awards has been disparaging those irreverent Chaser boys, who always take care to present a plurality of views, for too long. I demand you provide some balance.
O'BRIEN
Alright then - and we were wondering where the hell to put this bit, so thanks Gerard - here's our special commentator Jonbob on why he didn't like The Librarians and then 13 schoolyards will say why he did like The Librarians. Happy?
HENDERSON SHUFFLES OFF TO COUNT UP THE EMPTY LATTE CUPS AGAIN.
O'BRIEN
I'll take that as a yes. Over to you, Jonbob...
JONBOB
The Librarians wasn't the worst comedy of the year by a long way, but the fact that it's not as bad as Summer Heights High is not praise.
Featuring as its lead a woman trapped in a loveless marriage that she can't escape, at times it seemed more like a drama than a comedy. Unable to acknowledge that she may be a lesbian, (or at least bi - she seems to want to sleep with at least two of her co-workers) due to her religion, and with her guilt over causing a co-workers accident causing her to lash out at those around her, Frances at times seemed to be a character out of the funding guidelines for a pretentious Australia drama.
Not that there wasn't potential for comedy: A Catholic priest who feels so guilty about his role in condemning a woman to a loveless life that he tries to escape by hanging around with a group of Muslim women who clearly have no use for him could have been classic comedy material (or just another boring Australian drama series). But time and again the writers chose to ignore their characters' potential in favour of cheap and lazy jokes about wheelchairs.
For a character-based comedy to be so lacking in character development was woeful. At least the three main characters had some trivial development. The minor characters didn't even get that, leaving them as little more than 1990's-era zany sitcom rejects. This lack of realism extended to the series as a whole: the idea that someone working in a library has such bad dyslexia they cannot read or write is baffling, not funny.
Then the whole subplot of Dawn learning the truth about her accident - which in a show even slightly based in the real world should have been devastating - was just shunted aside for a much more simplistic and traditional scenario: someone important (the Premier) visits, only to have things go badly wrong thanks to the ineptitude of the irritating boss and her amusing sidekicks.
The lame wannabe attempts at edgy humour just felt flat and forced while the natural humour that could have been derived from the situation never fully materialised. Too much of the show seemed to be taken from more successful comedies - flashbacks from Arrested Development, awkward racist jokes from The Office - and with such a mish-mash of styles the whole show just never fit together. The whole series was a grab bag of good ideas from every popular sitcom of the past 10 years jammed together with no feeling for the overall tone of the series. I get the feeling they were afraid the only way they could get this show anywhere was to imitate Chris Lilley and The Office. It's as if the funding from Film Victoria and Film Australia infected what should have been a comedy with the plot and tone of a serious Australian film. It's hardly surprising then that it seems like the makers were confused about whether they were trying to make a serious Australian drama or a comedy.
It's so frustrating that what could have been a brilliant series came off as a scrambled mess.
13 SCHOOLYARDS
The Librarians isn't a show you can judge on the basis of one episode. Unusually for an Australian sitcom - where the characters tend to be static one-note stereotypes whose success comes from how closely they imitate stereotypes the viewers already hold - the main characters were shown and developed much like characters in a drama series. They were individual human beings and the comedy flowed once the viewers got to know them for who they were. It wasn't just that Frances was uptight - her repressed sexuality was always bubbling to the surface, her small-mindedness was coupled with a superficial devoting to the Catholic Church and so on.
The problem with a comedy that took a dramatic approach to its main characters is that some viewers felt they should be reading the whole show as an Office-style comedy drama. Clearly this wasn't the case: Frances might have been a well-rounded character, but she still had her cartoony elements (thanks largely to an excellent performance from co-writer Robyn Butler) while the supporting cast were almost entirely one-joke buffoons.
To be fair, the supporting cast could have used a little character development themselves (Bob Franklin for one seemed wasted in a minor role) - but if they had been given more depth, the whole show would have become simply a clumsy mix of drama and comedy. As it stands, some already feel that was the case - if that were really true, imagine what the series would have been like if Dawn had been given a scene where she confronted the true horror of her accident (caused then covered up by her boss and friend, let's not forget). Chris Lilley would have dragged it out for ten minutes of truly painful pathos: instead we got a couple of jokes and it was done with. Just like a real comedy.
Certainly The Librarians trod some familiar ground with it's "edgy" subject matter: racism, jokes about the disabled, etc. Thankfully the now-traditional media beat-up about "controversial subjects", was quickly forgotten once viewers realised the show in no way endorsed the racism of Frances' character. And the jokes about Dawn's wheelchair quickly evolved once we knew that Frances was the one who put her in the chair. Not to mention that the jokes about having a dyslexic character working in a library were again really jokes about Frances herself: she hired the clearly unsuitable character solely for his looks and took every possible opportunity to perv on him for her own pleasure regardless of the disruption his presence was causing the library.
Again, it comes back to the characters. If you don't find them funny, you won't find the show funny. But in Frances, we had a character that couldn't be summed up in a line or a single scene. To say that because she was a bad boss makes this an Office rip-off or that the use of flashbacks made it an Arrested Development clone, is to say that there's nothing original going on here. Stylistic elements may have come from those shows - though sitcoms from Scrubs to The Simpsons use flashbacks, and David Brent was hardly the first bad boss on TV - but Frances is a wholly original creation, a character you couldn't sum up in a single line and in Australian television comedy that's almost unheard of.
GREEN
I agree with Jonbob, I found The Librarians disappointing.
O'BRIEN
Well it's one thing to be disappointed Antony, but it's another thing entirely to watch a much-loved and admired figure go down the gurgler. And providing us with the chance to do so, here's the next award...
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O'BRIEN
Gosh, that's quite a win for Mick Molloy and we'll turn to him in a minute, but Julian Morrow seemed an odd nomination in this category.
13 SCHOOLYARDS
Julian Morrow is disappointing because he could have been a titan in the field of, say, real estate. Or banking. Or some other area where the main qualification is to be able to give off a smug sense of entitlement. Maybe one day someone will create for him a role where his oily contempt for the common man can be put to good use. Maybe one day his dead eyes will be staring out from a poster advertising a movie about the life of James Packer, with Morrow in the lead. Maybe one day he'll make a fortune playing a back-stabbing prick in a nasty satire based around the cut-throat world of comedy. It's all a lot more likely than him ever seeming warm and likeable.
And Chris Lilley was once pretty damn funny. Go rent the Big Bite DVD and take a look at his work as Mr G and Extreme Darren for proof. He could tell a joke and come up with a convincing character you could like and laugh at. Maybe if Big Bite had kept going, maybe if he'd been forced to be funny in short sketches for a few more years, he would have become a great comedian. Instead, he's off kissing a mirror while wearing the Ja'ime wig.
O'BRIEN
But this year's victor is Mick Molloy...
13 SCHOOLYARDS
Yes, and he had a bad 2007. The fizzle that was The Nation was a blow, but he's come back from failed shows before. Having Tony Martin go public about his blocking of Boytown Confidential was - for anyone paying attention and Mick must be hoping not many people were - a much bigger problem. Mick's biggest comedy asset is his comedy persona: a fun, slightly sleazy, but far from dumb, likes a drink and a smoke, all-round decent, average guy. That's why Nine was so interested in him: that's a persona they could use in any number of shows, much like the way comedy toilet trader Kenny popped up around the place in 2007 for no good reason. But blocking a friend's film project because - so the story went - it would have made his film look bad made Mick look like, to be blunt, a hard-hearted prick. And there's not a lot of laughs to be had being seen as one of those.
O'BRIEN
OK... Antony, any more results?
GREEN
Yes Kerry and Mick Molloy's won this one too...
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O'BRIEN
Well, two big wins in a row for Mick Molloy...
13 SCHOOLYARDS
Boytown and The Nation are two black marks on Mick Molloy's once-clear copybook, Kerry. Separately, neither would be fatal; together, they represent failures in both television and movies. Radio's already closed to Mick after the shafting of Tough Love from Triple M: the real worry for him has to be not that he's made a few missteps - after all, it's happened before and he's got enough goodwill in the community to give him at least one more comeback - but that there's no clear venue for him to come back and try something new. After The Mick Molloy Show failed, Mick came back with Crackerjack, one of the most popular Australian film comedies ever. After these string of failures his next project seems to be as part of a Jason Alexander comedy touring show.
O'BRIEN
And the nominees in this category?
13 SCHOOLYARDS
In 2007 The Chaser were looking very, very tired. They might have scored all the hype in the world, but as far as the actual work they were putting out goes, there were shows on community television kicking more goals. With CNNNN they proved they could make funny, incisive comedy well worth watching: with The Chaser's War on Everything, they proved that their best years were behind them. And Kath & Kim is in a rut so deep you could fight World War I from it. And from the bottom of this dark, smelly trench it's hard to see how fun and funny the first series was. But once you've found something people want, it's hard not to keep giving them it - until, all of a sudden, they don't want it any more and you've got nothing else to give them.
O'BRIEN
But back to our winner, Mick Molloy is with us in the tally room. Mick, you've just won two awards for being terrible this year, but you have the chance to redeem yourself...
TONY MARTIN HANDS MOLLOY A SACK CONTAINING $10,000 CASH.
O'BRIEN
...is there any chance we can see Tumbleweeds Confidential now?
MOLLOY
I'm afraid not Kerry, I've just discovered that the copy I have is in the wrong format.
O'BRIEN
The wrong format?! Mick, we may be the ABC, but even we have all known video formats available to us.
MOLLOY GETS OUT A CIGARETTE LIGHTER AND STARTS TRYING TO BURN THE TAPE.
MOLLOY
Oh no, it's spontaneously catching fire!
HE KEEPS DESPERATELY TRYING TO BURN THE TAPE. MARTIN RUNS OFF TO FIND A FIRE EXTINGUISHER.
O'BRIEN
Well, I guess we'd better evacuate the studio. Meanwhile, here's a stand-by segment. We'll see you on page 4...
CUT TO STAND-BY SEGMENT: 'AXIOM DAYS with BRIAN CADD'.
CADD
Axiom was a trip. We did a lot of great stuff. You have to remember about Axiom, we had that hit 'Little Ray of Sunshine'. Everybody knows that. I was talking with Kevin Rudd the other day, and he said he thought 'Little Ray of Sunshine' was our best song. I couldn't disagree with that. Kevin's a good bloke. To be honest the history of Axiom is me and Glen Shorrock meeting while doing a bit of parrot smuggling up north near Cairns, forming Axiom, putting out 'Little Ray of Sunshine', a bit more parrot smuggling, and then meeting Kevin Rudd in late 2006, when he told us he thought Axiom were a great band. In fact you could take 'Little Ray of Sunshine' out of that story and just include the bit about Kevin Rudd liking us in our official biography. I think that would be fine actually. I'll change the website tonight, put it right.
The other thing about Axiom is that Kevin Rudd likes to talk about latches all the time. Just wouldn't stop talking about latches. Constant latch talk. It does get a bit much, but he is the Prime Minister of Australia nowadays, so I tend to think, "Latches, let's just let him run with it", really. And we do. These days when Shorrock and I get together to do a bit of rehearsing for the new Axiom tour, where we play 'Little Ray of Sunshine' about fourteen times in slightly different ways, we just assume that at some point the Prime Minister will call in and talk about latches for a while.
Axiom's favourite worst comedy show of 2007 was Summer Heights High by the way. Had Chris Lilley called up and asked to use 'Little Ray of Sunshine' in a scene about latches I would have said "Yeah, you don't know anything about latches at all, stuff it". I think that says it all really, about Axiom anyway.
CAPTION: PLEASE GO TO PAGE 4. DO NOT PASS GO. DO NOT BUY ANY MATT TILLEY CD's.
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