KERRY O'BRIEN
...Mike Sexton with that report. Time now for John Clarke and Bryan Dawe, and their satirical take on this year's Australian Tumbleweed Awards.

CUT TO CLARKE AND DAWE’S CELL AT GUANTANOMO BAY.

DAWE
John Howard, thanks for your time.

CLARKE
It's a very great pleasure and good evening.

DAWE
Mr Howard...

CLARKE
(CUTTING HIM OFF) I can have you arrested for that, you know.

DAWE
Mr Howard, I haven't asked the question yet.

CLARKE
You wouldn't like being arrested, Bryan. Guantanomo Bay isn't a nice place.

DAWE
Mr Howard, I'm just here to interview you.

CLARKE
You’re one of those comedians, aren’t you?

DAWE
No, I'm a journalist.

CLARKE
Sure?

DAWE
Positive.

CLARKE
Alright then son, off you go.

DAWE
Mr Howard, you had several of Australia’s leading comedians arrested this week under sedition laws. Don’t you think that’s a bit of an over-reaction?

CLARKE
Guards! Cease him!

DAWE IS DRAGGED OFF FOR 'SPECIAL TREATMENT'. AFTER A BRIEF PAUSE, SO IS CLARKE.

THE CAMERA PANS OVER TO THE CELL NEXT DOOR WHERE TONY MARTIN IS TRYING TO ENJOY HIS AWARD, DESPITE THE FACT THAT THE GUARDS WILL COME BACK SOON AND BEAT HIM AROUND THE HEAD WITH IT SOME MORE.

DAVID HICKS HOLDS A SIGN UP TO THE CAMERA SAYING 'HI DAD!'.

FADE TO BLACK.